Empty Boxes and More

So I'm supposed to be studying right now for Organic Chemistry. I have an exam on Thursday about stereochemistry of alkene reactions, substitution/elimination reactions, and whatever else I haven't been paying any attention to. And yet I'm here. Writing this. I wish that I had it in me to go study, but I just can't. Or won't. I don't know.
I got to thinking today: my life is separated into these neat little boxes: my family, my friends (subcategorized into littler boxes), and my academics. But sometimes I feel as if some boxes I thought were full were actually empty. Like my box for my organic chemistry knowledge. When test time rolls around, I rummage in that box only to find two paper clips and a pack of gum. Like that'll help me understand whether an osmium tetroxide reaction is syn or anti (it's syn, for those playing at home).
Then there are the boxes I wish had stuff in them. It's like I carefully label the box, make sure that it's a decent size and durability, and then realize that I never had anything to place in the box to begin with. And then I feel confused inside. Sometimes it feels like I'm constantly making boxes, forever to be empty. (Wow, I'm really driving this metaphor into the ground, aren't I?) I always feel like I'm on the brink of something new and exciting, only to be held back by my inability to move forward. But this is getting off topic.
It was really warm in College Park today. (I'm just going to move to a different topic.) Like 80 degrees after a string of windy 40 degree days. It was a nice change, but it was a little too warm, you know? I kept saying it all day, but it really did feel like I was in summer camp today. It brought back memories of when I was in middle school and I went to this one summer camp for acting. Just thinking about it made me kinda sad. I mean, when we were young, we didn't have to think about what we had to do in order to be successful. Now, I have to live every day thinking that even one screwup can ruin what I'm working towards. I don't even know what I'm working towards. When I think about my future, it's completely dark. Just a dark room with empty boxes and a label maker.

Well that was depressing. And confusing. But I feel I had to write it, just to get it off my chest. Whatever. Back to studying.